June 2013
136 posts
dear woman coming out of the starbucks on congress street,
I heard you telling your friends, with the cardboard cup clenched in your fist
“I’ll have to spend an extra hour at the gym
just to work this off.”
I know it eases your misplaced guilt
and establishes the hierarchy in your thin girl ecosystem
but please remember
your life isn’t a negotiation with society’s impossible standards
starvation makes you placid
and
sometimes
400 empty calories
is a revolution.
“We praise people for being “naturally” smart, too, “naturally” athletic, and etc. But studies continue to show, as they have for some time now, that it is generally healthier to praise schoolchildren for being hardworking, than for being naturally gifted. We know now that to emphasize a child’s inherent ability places pressure on that child to continue to be accidentally talented, which is something that is hard for anyone to control. When the children who are applauded for their natural skills fail, they are shown to take the failure very personally. After all, the process of their success has always seemed mysterious and basic and inseparable from the rest of their identity, so it must be they who are failing as whole people. When students are instead complimented and rewarded for their effort and improvement, they tend to not be so hard on themselves. When they fail, they reason, “Well, I’ll work harder next time.” They learn that they are capable of success, rather than constantly automatically deserving of it, and they learn simultaneously that they are bigger and more complex than their individual successes or failures.”
—Kate of Eat the Damn Cake, The Stupidity of “Natural” Beauty (x)
“Your task is not to seek for love, but only to seek and pull down all the barriers within yourself which you have built against it.”
—Rumi (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
